blah

OK
stressed out
the victims people called today to see "how I am doing". a very nice old lady named Estelle. She says I need to talk... and says I need to sleep, and fill out a report for the judge to read for how to sentence Dave. she said a package will come in the mail. and the 22 nd will be a guilty/ not guilty hearing. but I don't have to be there. What do I write? what do I say? How do I explain that I normally love being alone, and now it makes me want to puke every time someone knocks on my door. or I wake up at night scared. Or that I am tired of being told it wasn't that bad. or that it could have been worse. She says that I need to go to a seminar to go to court.

and it upsets me that she was more supportive than my own mother was. who I might add, has only called with orders.

I just want to cry and not think about it.