soooo,
when I come back from mom and dads I think I am going to start having a "come paint with me" day once a week.
this will make me;
spend time with people and hopefully be inspired.
will expose me to other people techniques and appreciate their style.
force me to paint once a week.
I think it will just be fun!
so the more the merrier, I have a small space but isn't that part of the fun!
if you would like to come, let me know
If you're from out of town, we can do it on a day when you come here.
Ground rules:
you must paint
you must take a cab if you decide to drink and paint
No critical comments
... that sounds like enough rules.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
In 1968 Richard Feigen Gallery in Chicago organized a protest exhibiton against Mayor Richard Daley which included works by 50 artists. James Rosenquist, one of the most political of the Pop artists, produced a pink and white mylar portrait of Mayor Daley, "Facade", slashed into strips. Rosenquist then used the same image of Daley, taken from a newspaper photograph, as the basis for this lithograph - the portiait was hand-drawn on the lithographic stone.
This image was included in the 1999 Museum of Modern Art exhibition "Pop Impressions. Europe/USA"
I have also been thinking alot about anger.
I have noticed in my life I am more apt to be the most angry at the people that I see as being able to love me inspite of me being angry at them.
My mother for example. part of it may just be that she knows how to push my buttons to the point that I blow a fuse. the other might be that she feels she can say and do things because she know that I am going to love her no matter what she does.
I have a temper. and it is firey and red and wrathful.
and it makes me yell and throw things and want to hit things with big sticks. If any of you have seen my dad try to work with his cows, then you have seen my anger. Me, I think his is hillarious and it doesn't surprise me when I don;t get taken seriously when I am angry. its just so cartoon like. I digress.
I am angry alot. its means I have to spend alot of time alone. As a child I spent aot of time alone because I would get tempered. I look at janice, she has my temper, she gives herself time outs. I think part of it is inherited.It must be.
any how
there are times to be angry. but I have become much more selective over when those times are.
and when to let go of it.
I have noticed in my life I am more apt to be the most angry at the people that I see as being able to love me inspite of me being angry at them.
My mother for example. part of it may just be that she knows how to push my buttons to the point that I blow a fuse. the other might be that she feels she can say and do things because she know that I am going to love her no matter what she does.
I have a temper. and it is firey and red and wrathful.
and it makes me yell and throw things and want to hit things with big sticks. If any of you have seen my dad try to work with his cows, then you have seen my anger. Me, I think his is hillarious and it doesn't surprise me when I don;t get taken seriously when I am angry. its just so cartoon like. I digress.
I am angry alot. its means I have to spend alot of time alone. As a child I spent aot of time alone because I would get tempered. I look at janice, she has my temper, she gives herself time outs. I think part of it is inherited.It must be.
any how
there are times to be angry. but I have become much more selective over when those times are.
and when to let go of it.
In the last few days I have been doing aot of thinking. in the next week I will have more time too. it is one luxury that I do have. time. Any how I have been thinking extensively about how we treat each other, what kind of person I want to be, how am I going to get there.
first I want to address the whole jeremy thing. Yes I was angry, and hurt. I said somethings that I did not mean, and should not have said. when it comes right down to it, I should have kept that part private and dealt with it in a better way than I did.
yes, we are talking now, yes we are able to have a decent friendship. Yes I have forgiven him what he did. Read this and I hope you will understand why.
first I want to address the whole jeremy thing. Yes I was angry, and hurt. I said somethings that I did not mean, and should not have said. when it comes right down to it, I should have kept that part private and dealt with it in a better way than I did.
yes, we are talking now, yes we are able to have a decent friendship. Yes I have forgiven him what he did. Read this and I hope you will understand why.
In the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve to be
forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake. You're doing it for
yourself. For your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most
energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating
drain of holding a grudge. Don't let these people live rent free in your head.
If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your
mind? It's not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster
that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It's one
thing you can be totally selfish about.
The deepest resentments are wrapped up in a lot of hurt and pain. We think we're protecting ourselves by not forgiving.
Acknowledge that and go easy on yourself. Forgiveness means that you've decided
not to let it keep festering inside even if it only comes up once in awhile.
Forgiveness is a powerful yet challenging tool that will support and honor you,
even in the most extreme circumstances.
The incoherence that results from holding on to resentments
and unforgiving attitudes keeps you from being aligned with your true self. It
can block you from your next level of quality life experience.
Metaphorically, it's the curtain standing between the room you're living in now and a new room, much larger and full of beautiful objects. The act of forgiveness removes the curtain. Clearing up your old accounts can free up so much energy that you jump right into a whole new house. Forgiving releases you from the punishment of a
self-made prison where you are both the inmate and the jailer.
Doc Childre and Howard Martin,
In my life, there are alot of people I need to forgive, something I am not sure that I can. I know that till I deal with those things they will keep a hold over me. Those will take time. But if I can do one thing that heps me feel lighter, closer to being who I want to be. then I have taken one small step in that direction.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mahatma Gandhi
I want to be strong. In a healthy way that does not mean I have to wear armour, I would rather be strong from the inside. I also want that to come from myself. I don't want to feel like I am better because of someone, or even better than someone. I take no comfort in that.
there are more thoughts.... but they will wait till my head is clear again.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
focus
I am itching to get up north. I must focus.
I have to focus.
job that is the thing that I need to concentrate on. Not the idea of roaming around the wilderness in the sunshine poking things with sticks. no no not the sticks!
focus focus focus.
I have a couple paintings to do before I go up.
I should get on that.
focus... focus....
I have to focus.
job that is the thing that I need to concentrate on. Not the idea of roaming around the wilderness in the sunshine poking things with sticks. no no not the sticks!
focus focus focus.
I have a couple paintings to do before I go up.
I should get on that.
focus... focus....
Monday, February 26, 2007
Squeaky cat
oh squeaky cat!she is going to go to live with my mom.
so that means 2 things, she is going to go to a good house, and I get to go home for a visit.
AND since its calving season I am uber excited. I need to take care of my whole job thing, make sure I have one for example, then I think I will go up.
Oh I love home at calving season, sure I don;t sleep, become a hermit and pretty much slough off the shroud of civilization, but I love it! Everything about it. the animals, the solitude the lack of technology, the sun and the mud. and the smells. Even if I only get to be there for a little while this year, that is ok, last year I did all the calving except the last 3 weeks. and it was great. Nothing stabilizes me more than time on the farm. Nothing makes me feel more alive. And this year dad has some horses that he is boarding so that will be great too.
I wish I could be the person I am there all the time.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Your Birthdate: September 4
You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined.Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation.Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you.You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively.
Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics
Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness
Your power color: Navy blue
Your power symbol: Shield
Your power month: April
You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined.Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation.Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you.You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively.
Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics
Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness
Your power color: Navy blue
Your power symbol: Shield
Your power month: April
Saturday, February 24, 2007
odd things I saw this week:
I have seen broken toilets.
my brother in law managed to smash one in his shop not long ago
but I don't know how you break one quite like this
Number Two
I was at the dollar store and I could be wrong but
pregnancy tests should NOT be sold at the dollar store.....
the funny thing is I couldn't find any dollar store condoms.....
LMAO
I am SO having a dollar store pregnancy test party!
there will be laughing and there will be crying it will be epic I can see it all now! I think this is how the phrase curiosity killed the cat was versed.
elizabethtown
So I watched this movie on recommendation of Chad. He saw it and called ( at a fairly awkward time in our reconciliation) and told me it was great, I would like it and it reminded him of me. SO I have avoided seeing it for a very long time. But yesterday was the day.
and I am so glad I waited to see it.
now if you watch it, do not think for a moment that the main characters were us. no. we were the Claire and Ben.
unfortunate.
painful to conclude.
but very relieving at the same time.
though our time together had elements of the main plot, but not enough
it is a beautiful story about a a huge fiasco, about being so great you are impossible to forget, but yet impossible to remember, about giving music air and watching sunrises and eating cheese.
and I am so glad I waited to see it.
now if you watch it, do not think for a moment that the main characters were us. no. we were the Claire and Ben.
unfortunate.
painful to conclude.
but very relieving at the same time.
though our time together had elements of the main plot, but not enough
it is a beautiful story about a a huge fiasco, about being so great you are impossible to forget, but yet impossible to remember, about giving music air and watching sunrises and eating cheese.
Sadness is easier because its surrender. I say make time to dance alone
with one hand waving free.---- Claire
Friday, February 23, 2007
Oh YEAH I ROCKETH
so I have another interview with a different company for a fabulous job.
I dropped them a resume.
they want me they really want me
I am going to have options about my future!
this makes me unbelievably happy.
It's just nice to know that I am recognized as being talented in an industry.
Good things are happening!
*ROCK ON*
*Spiderman*
I dropped them a resume.
they want me they really want me
I am going to have options about my future!
this makes me unbelievably happy.
It's just nice to know that I am recognized as being talented in an industry.
Good things are happening!
*ROCK ON*
*Spiderman*
rexall place vs ???
so the discussion in Edmonton right now about the renovation of the rexall place or the building of a new one. I have a coupe problems with this.
first what is with the disposable attitude that is happening. the building is not even 40 years old. How is there any hope that Canada is to develop any kind of heritage when we look at things this way. there are building in other countries in use that people live in and work in that are older than our country. that makes me sick to think of such an investment and icon to be thought of as disposable.
second the money its self. 550 million dollars to build a new one.
for that cost, for 15 years 6000 people could go to university, for free, that is 22,500 degrees that could be paid for.
so many other things that are better could be paid for. the people that are in rexall don;t want a renovation because it would take 5 years and "have you ever lived in your house when you are renovating the kitchen"
there is talk of ripping down the old post office and building there... what is wrong with that building? maybe some economic development is needed to draw more business to Edmonton to fill that office building.
why not put the money into redeveloping the crappy area just north of down town. Add some pride to the city. Or some low income housing? so many other thing that that money could be used for.
ok rant done
first what is with the disposable attitude that is happening. the building is not even 40 years old. How is there any hope that Canada is to develop any kind of heritage when we look at things this way. there are building in other countries in use that people live in and work in that are older than our country. that makes me sick to think of such an investment and icon to be thought of as disposable.
second the money its self. 550 million dollars to build a new one.
for that cost, for 15 years 6000 people could go to university, for free, that is 22,500 degrees that could be paid for.
so many other things that are better could be paid for. the people that are in rexall don;t want a renovation because it would take 5 years and "have you ever lived in your house when you are renovating the kitchen"
there is talk of ripping down the old post office and building there... what is wrong with that building? maybe some economic development is needed to draw more business to Edmonton to fill that office building.
why not put the money into redeveloping the crappy area just north of down town. Add some pride to the city. Or some low income housing? so many other thing that that money could be used for.
ok rant done
KEITH URBAN LYRICS
"You'll Think Of Me"
I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me,
you'll think of me
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
SoTake your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fineI'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday
"You'll Think Of Me"
I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me,
you'll think of me
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
SoTake your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fineI'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday
Thursday, February 22, 2007
METAL is alive!
there is a truck dropping off a trash cubicle across the street at the burned out apartment. the reason I know this is it sounded like heavy metal outside and I got very excited that some one was thumbing their nose at the weather and the social acceptance of hair metal. I hoped some one was holding aboom box high over their head, screaming a ballad to a window. How even more excited was I when I realized it was real metal on metal noise!
*rock on*
*spiderman*
Mantra
whats a mantra?
nuthin, what the mantra with you?
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
nuthin, what the mantra with you?
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
****
I am the most important person in the universe.
*****
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Shrove tuesday... a day about pancakes!
Shrove Tuesday is the term used in the United Kingdom[1], Ireland[2], and Australia[3] to refer to the day after Shrove Monday (or the more old fashioned Collop Monday) and before Ash Wednesday (the liturgical season of Lent begins on Ash Wednesday). In these countries, particularly Ireland, and amongst Anglicans in Canada, this day is also known as Pancake Day, because it is customary to eat pancakes on this day.[4][5][6] In other parts of the world—for example, in historically Catholic and French-speaking parts of the United States and elsewhere—this day is called Mardi Gras. In areas with large Polish-immigrant populations (for example, Chicago and Detroit) it is known as Paczki Day. And in areas with large German-immigrant populations (for example, Pennsylvania Dutch Country) it is known as Fasnacht or Fauschnaut Day.
The French also have a festival associated with pancakes (crêpes) which is held on February 2 each year. This festival is called Chandeleur and is a celebration of light (the name is derived from the word "chandelle" which also gave the English word "candle". The festival is known as Candlemas in English). It is thought that pancakes are associated to this celebration because of the solar symbolic of their shape and colour. The traditional food for Mardi Gras are sweet fried dumplings usually served in the shape of a loose knot or a 5cm wide, 20cm long strip of dough one extremity of which is passed through a slit in its middle.
The reason that pancakes are associated with the day preceding Lent is that the 40 days of Lent form a period of liturgical fasting, during which only the plainest foodstuffs may be eaten. Therefore, rich ingredients such as eggs, milk, sugar and flour are disposed of immediately prior to the commencement of the fast. Pancakes and doughnuts were therefore an efficient way of using up these perishable goods, besides providing a minor celebratory feast prior to the fast itself [2].
The word shrove is a past tense of the English verb "shrive," which means to obtain absolution for one's sins by confessing and doing penance.[7] Shrove Tuesday gets its name from the shriving (confession) that Anglo-Saxon Christians were expected to receive immediately before Lent.[8]
Shrove Tuesday is the last day of "shrovetide," which is the English equivalent to the Carnival tradition that developed separately out of the countries of Latin Europe. In countries of the Carnival tradition, the day before Ash Wednesday is known either as the "Tuesday of Carnival" (in Spanish-speaking countries, "Martes de Carnaval," in Portuguese-speaking countries, "Terça-feira de Carnaval", in German "Faschingsdienstag") or "Carnival Tuesday" (in Portuguese-speaking countries "Terça-feira Gorda", in French-speaking countries, "Mardi Gras," in Italian-speaking countries, "Martedì Grasso").
The term "Shrove Tuesday" is not widely known in the United States[9][10], especially in those regions that celebrate Mardi Gras on the day before Ash Wednesday.
The French also have a festival associated with pancakes (crêpes) which is held on February 2 each year. This festival is called Chandeleur and is a celebration of light (the name is derived from the word "chandelle" which also gave the English word "candle". The festival is known as Candlemas in English). It is thought that pancakes are associated to this celebration because of the solar symbolic of their shape and colour. The traditional food for Mardi Gras are sweet fried dumplings usually served in the shape of a loose knot or a 5cm wide, 20cm long strip of dough one extremity of which is passed through a slit in its middle.
The reason that pancakes are associated with the day preceding Lent is that the 40 days of Lent form a period of liturgical fasting, during which only the plainest foodstuffs may be eaten. Therefore, rich ingredients such as eggs, milk, sugar and flour are disposed of immediately prior to the commencement of the fast. Pancakes and doughnuts were therefore an efficient way of using up these perishable goods, besides providing a minor celebratory feast prior to the fast itself [2].
The word shrove is a past tense of the English verb "shrive," which means to obtain absolution for one's sins by confessing and doing penance.[7] Shrove Tuesday gets its name from the shriving (confession) that Anglo-Saxon Christians were expected to receive immediately before Lent.[8]
Shrove Tuesday is the last day of "shrovetide," which is the English equivalent to the Carnival tradition that developed separately out of the countries of Latin Europe. In countries of the Carnival tradition, the day before Ash Wednesday is known either as the "Tuesday of Carnival" (in Spanish-speaking countries, "Martes de Carnaval," in Portuguese-speaking countries, "Terça-feira de Carnaval", in German "Faschingsdienstag") or "Carnival Tuesday" (in Portuguese-speaking countries "Terça-feira Gorda", in French-speaking countries, "Mardi Gras," in Italian-speaking countries, "Martedì Grasso").
The term "Shrove Tuesday" is not widely known in the United States[9][10], especially in those regions that celebrate Mardi Gras on the day before Ash Wednesday.
thoughts for my day
I woke up this morning, and it was quiet. I was disappointed that the robin that has been singing outside my window for the last little while wasn't there to start my morning. I should not have cursed him on Sunday.
Next I went to NAIT to apply.. and it was closed, I will have to do it tomorrow morning
so then I figured I would go have coffee with Ali AND SHE WASN"T THERE!
the whole world was in an uproar! what was this chaos ruining my well laid plan?
that is what happens when I plan my day.
so at this point I gave up, but who did I meet on the street, but the cats! sweeeeeet. we wandered, Ali got a hair cut. she now looks like a movie star! there was shopping and coffee...
sounds like a nice afternoon huh?
Next I went to NAIT to apply.. and it was closed, I will have to do it tomorrow morning
so then I figured I would go have coffee with Ali AND SHE WASN"T THERE!
the whole world was in an uproar! what was this chaos ruining my well laid plan?
that is what happens when I plan my day.
so at this point I gave up, but who did I meet on the street, but the cats! sweeeeeet. we wandered, Ali got a hair cut. she now looks like a movie star! there was shopping and coffee...
sounds like a nice afternoon huh?
Monday, February 19, 2007
Family Day
Lori went home this afternoon.
my house is quiet
I think I will read in my nest
I am never going to get drunk again.... a two day hang over just isn't worth it.
damn the rum
my house is quiet
I think I will read in my nest
I am never going to get drunk again.... a two day hang over just isn't worth it.
damn the rum
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I have robin that is singing outside my window every morning.
I am excited about the prospect for spring.
the soft grass and the warm sunshine.
even the when the snow melts and reveals the mess that has lain silent under the snow all winter.
RE: the ugly
I don;t care if you think what I had to say was ugly and angry. it was no where close to as ugly as what you did, or as angry as how I have felt. You had a chance to show the world the good and shiny parts and you chose to "hide it under a bush". Do not try to defend or justify my actions, that is not your role, or your privilege
I am excited about the prospect for spring.
the soft grass and the warm sunshine.
even the when the snow melts and reveals the mess that has lain silent under the snow all winter.
RE: the ugly
I don;t care if you think what I had to say was ugly and angry. it was no where close to as ugly as what you did, or as angry as how I have felt. You had a chance to show the world the good and shiny parts and you chose to "hide it under a bush". Do not try to defend or justify my actions, that is not your role, or your privilege
most fun a girl can have with her clothes on...
name me the movie and the character and you win my devotion.
oh favorite quote yet
"I've felt more remorse for less"
wow... great quote from a small man
oh favorite quote yet
"I've felt more remorse for less"
wow... great quote from a small man
Saturday, February 17, 2007
well that was one hell of a day
and its just started
I spent all morning in the hospital with my friend
and then wow!
tada!
I was right!
you did cheat on me with Amy!
oh that feels good. let me say it again... I saw her in the car and you still fucking lied. You made the date to go out with her in front of me. then said "what is that face for" after. You met my mother infront of her. kissed me in front of her and then LIED TO HER TOO. I don;t give a fuck about her feelings, if she is so stupid as to ignore a girl kissing you that is her problem.
well at least i've had since weds last to remove myself from it.
I honesty hoped that you had seen it as a mistake....
but I underestemated your creep factor.
Thank God I never felt more than smitten. (look it up)
loose my number
tell people what you want, I don't care.
tell yourself what every you have to make yourself feel like a decent human.
But mostly just know I have no respect for you or what you did.
and its just started
I spent all morning in the hospital with my friend
and then wow!
tada!
I was right!
you did cheat on me with Amy!
oh that feels good. let me say it again... I saw her in the car and you still fucking lied. You made the date to go out with her in front of me. then said "what is that face for" after. You met my mother infront of her. kissed me in front of her and then LIED TO HER TOO. I don;t give a fuck about her feelings, if she is so stupid as to ignore a girl kissing you that is her problem.
well at least i've had since weds last to remove myself from it.
I honesty hoped that you had seen it as a mistake....
but I underestemated your creep factor.
Thank God I never felt more than smitten. (look it up)
loose my number
tell people what you want, I don't care.
tell yourself what every you have to make yourself feel like a decent human.
But mostly just know I have no respect for you or what you did.
Friday, February 16, 2007
albino moose
Being from up north and driving through "moose row" with the albino moose signs I was delighted to see this picture of a true albino moose....creepy
Thursday, February 15, 2007
oh sigh
kay first thing is first.. there is a house on fire across my street and I may have to leave due to the god awful smell.
yester day... the better day, turned out to be a great day!
I was gifted with gorgeous flowers!
I love tulips.
they are my favorite, they are not pretentious, they are pretty and simple and they go great with every thing! ( I am such a flower snob!)
and SHOES... of... ( as my mom loves to say ) of my choice!
( picture to follow!)
how perfect is that?!
Best Valentines day EVER!
We had lamb... hialrity will ensue I am sure.... and all those lovely things that go with lamb, except the sweaters.
and then I woke up this morning and found chocolate and a PUPPY waiting for me.
I will call him Squishy and he will be my friend!
Sigh
smitten
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
A much better day
Today feels like a much better day.
I have a lovely piggy who fell viciously on the carrots that I gave her. thank god that piggies are not carnivores!
Applying for jobs. Applying for schools. I want a universal form implanted in my neck so I can just have it scanned and I don;t have to fill out any more forms. good thing to know though is that I have my postal code memorized for the first time in years. It must be due to the fact that I haven;t moved in the last year. YAY for not moving!
now if only I could find a way to keep my feel warm... new socks perhaps?
OOO how lovely!
I have a lovely piggy who fell viciously on the carrots that I gave her. thank god that piggies are not carnivores!
Applying for jobs. Applying for schools. I want a universal form implanted in my neck so I can just have it scanned and I don;t have to fill out any more forms. good thing to know though is that I have my postal code memorized for the first time in years. It must be due to the fact that I haven;t moved in the last year. YAY for not moving!
now if only I could find a way to keep my feel warm... new socks perhaps?
OOO how lovely!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
pictures and baggage
past past past.
I realize I have no pictures from my past relationships. None. its like the men and the relationships didn't exist. Like I can purge them.
its amazing to me that even as much as I have grown I can have flash backs to my past. No one expects in the future that they will be uncomfortable about their past actions. Now I am sitting thinking about the story of my life and I wish that I could change parts of my past. Some parts I learned from. Some partsI am ashamed of.
Today is my first boyfriends birthday. its amazing to me that after seven years I even recalled that. His name is Allan. I wish I could say that we taught each other a lot, but we were very young and made a lot of mistakes. I don't think of him much any more, I don't wonder what he has done with his life. Honestly I doubt I would recognize him now if I saw him on the street. He was very controlling, angry and young, and I let him be those things. He said he loved me and because of that I let him treat me like a servant, thought it was OK that I came last on his list of priorities. I suppose that is where my inability to talk about emotions comes from, because mine never mattered and his were always violent, better to be left unsaid and unexpressed. Unhurt. When we broke up he did some horrible things. He even tried to commit suicide. That was the last time I talked to him.
I am glad I have no picture of him.
That is a part of my life I wish I could change. I wish I had finished university and made my career then. I wish I could have spared my family and his the heartache that happened from that ordeal. I wish I was stronger then.
I suppose to make a future that I am happy and balanced I need to deal with my past. maybe one small piece at a time. I need other people to realize that I don't come from a bubble. that I can be hurt, but I can forgive. and my forgiveness is sincere.
I am feeling empty today. I am a fate believer, things happen for a reason. An old friend named Jeff once told me that fate is what we make happen. I think it was partially a way for him to justify his actions in life. this week I made an action I am not 100% sure about. Since lately I am a extremely over confident person that shook down to the very bottom of my soul. Now I sit here praying to God and the Goddess that it wasn't a mistake. Have I changed my fate?
damn this is a depressing entry. oh well. Life isn't all rainbows and lollipops.
I realize I have no pictures from my past relationships. None. its like the men and the relationships didn't exist. Like I can purge them.
its amazing to me that even as much as I have grown I can have flash backs to my past. No one expects in the future that they will be uncomfortable about their past actions. Now I am sitting thinking about the story of my life and I wish that I could change parts of my past. Some parts I learned from. Some partsI am ashamed of.
Today is my first boyfriends birthday. its amazing to me that after seven years I even recalled that. His name is Allan. I wish I could say that we taught each other a lot, but we were very young and made a lot of mistakes. I don't think of him much any more, I don't wonder what he has done with his life. Honestly I doubt I would recognize him now if I saw him on the street. He was very controlling, angry and young, and I let him be those things. He said he loved me and because of that I let him treat me like a servant, thought it was OK that I came last on his list of priorities. I suppose that is where my inability to talk about emotions comes from, because mine never mattered and his were always violent, better to be left unsaid and unexpressed. Unhurt. When we broke up he did some horrible things. He even tried to commit suicide. That was the last time I talked to him.
I am glad I have no picture of him.
That is a part of my life I wish I could change. I wish I had finished university and made my career then. I wish I could have spared my family and his the heartache that happened from that ordeal. I wish I was stronger then.
I suppose to make a future that I am happy and balanced I need to deal with my past. maybe one small piece at a time. I need other people to realize that I don't come from a bubble. that I can be hurt, but I can forgive. and my forgiveness is sincere.
I am feeling empty today. I am a fate believer, things happen for a reason. An old friend named Jeff once told me that fate is what we make happen. I think it was partially a way for him to justify his actions in life. this week I made an action I am not 100% sure about. Since lately I am a extremely over confident person that shook down to the very bottom of my soul. Now I sit here praying to God and the Goddess that it wasn't a mistake. Have I changed my fate?
damn this is a depressing entry. oh well. Life isn't all rainbows and lollipops.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.How is it that Radio Shack (Source) has my address and telephonenumber and knows that I bought a TV Cable from them back in 1997, andyet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and onwhat date.
For crying out loud, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date, youhave on my social insurance card, on all the income tax forms I'vefiled for the past 30 years, my health insurance card, my driver'slicense, on the last eight bloody passports I've had, on all thosestupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before beingallowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all thoseinsufferable census forms that are done at election times.Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother'sname is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutelyastounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really ticked off this morning. Betweenyou an'me, I've had enough! You send the application to my house, thenyou ask me for my freakin' address. What is going on? Do you have agang of Neanderthals workin' there, or is it because everyone has tobe bilingual instead of competent?! Look at my damn picture. Do I looklike Bin Laden?
I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for crying out loud. I just wantto go and park my butt on a sandy beach. And would someone please tellme, why would you care whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15days?!
If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat,believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of thecity and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of$60!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spotto assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo,that'd be too easy!You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with ourheads cut off, contributing to local pollution levels in the process,then find some bozo to confirm that it's really me on the stupidpicture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?!Hey, do you really want to know why we can't smile?
We're ticked off!
Signed - An Irate Canadian Citizen
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.How is it that Radio Shack (Source) has my address and telephonenumber and knows that I bought a TV Cable from them back in 1997, andyet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and onwhat date.
For crying out loud, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date, youhave on my social insurance card, on all the income tax forms I'vefiled for the past 30 years, my health insurance card, my driver'slicense, on the last eight bloody passports I've had, on all thosestupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before beingallowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all thoseinsufferable census forms that are done at election times.Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother'sname is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutelyastounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really ticked off this morning. Betweenyou an'me, I've had enough! You send the application to my house, thenyou ask me for my freakin' address. What is going on? Do you have agang of Neanderthals workin' there, or is it because everyone has tobe bilingual instead of competent?! Look at my damn picture. Do I looklike Bin Laden?
I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for crying out loud. I just wantto go and park my butt on a sandy beach. And would someone please tellme, why would you care whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15days?!
If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat,believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of thecity and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of$60!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spotto assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo,that'd be too easy!You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with ourheads cut off, contributing to local pollution levels in the process,then find some bozo to confirm that it's really me on the stupidpicture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?!Hey, do you really want to know why we can't smile?
We're ticked off!
Signed - An Irate Canadian Citizen
Chai and shiny rocks
I have decided that chai makes everything better. I don;t think it will ever replace coffee but I am willing to make a morning spot for chai too. that and it is close to Chani, the name of frank herbert's heroine in Dune. and she was wonderful! one of my favorite fictional characters, better than Paul even.
I had a very emotional weekend.... I don't do emotional well or gracefully. I misread a situation and rather than communicate about it, made some huge assumptions that were wrong, and hurt my own feelings. I feel horrible about how I acted, and reacted. I did learn that communication makes relationships less messy. but it still stung. I know that without trust there cannot be love. I try not to have expectations about my relationships, expectations mess things up, but I have them and they make my world more stable. I have to say I was relieved when the explanation was innocent, and my feathers were smoothed. I never thought I would be jealous like that in my entire life. In the past I walked in on a woman with a man I was seeing, but in that situation I had absolutely no expectations from him. yes I was angry, but I knew I honestly didn't have anything invested in the relationship. Maybe that is why it hurt, I feel like I had given my trust and it had been shit on. Being a person who has actually fallen in shit, the falling in shit wasn't as bad as that.
Ok the shiny part.... its not the shiny part that impresses women its the fact that you want to express your self in a way that makes a fuss over her. YOU SHOULD WANT TO MAKE THE FUSS. that is what valentines day is about, that is what fancy rings and romantic interludes and flowers are about. women want to feel like we are important enough to put down the book, make the trip, buy the card, "blow" the money. If you are making someone feel like a goddess how can that be viewed as blowing? It doesn;t have to be huge and over the top, but a little recognition and effort make us feel special.
ok rants done
I had a very emotional weekend.... I don't do emotional well or gracefully. I misread a situation and rather than communicate about it, made some huge assumptions that were wrong, and hurt my own feelings. I feel horrible about how I acted, and reacted. I did learn that communication makes relationships less messy. but it still stung. I know that without trust there cannot be love. I try not to have expectations about my relationships, expectations mess things up, but I have them and they make my world more stable. I have to say I was relieved when the explanation was innocent, and my feathers were smoothed. I never thought I would be jealous like that in my entire life. In the past I walked in on a woman with a man I was seeing, but in that situation I had absolutely no expectations from him. yes I was angry, but I knew I honestly didn't have anything invested in the relationship. Maybe that is why it hurt, I feel like I had given my trust and it had been shit on. Being a person who has actually fallen in shit, the falling in shit wasn't as bad as that.
Ok the shiny part.... its not the shiny part that impresses women its the fact that you want to express your self in a way that makes a fuss over her. YOU SHOULD WANT TO MAKE THE FUSS. that is what valentines day is about, that is what fancy rings and romantic interludes and flowers are about. women want to feel like we are important enough to put down the book, make the trip, buy the card, "blow" the money. If you are making someone feel like a goddess how can that be viewed as blowing? It doesn;t have to be huge and over the top, but a little recognition and effort make us feel special.
ok rants done
Saturday, February 10, 2007
New DVD player
I got a new DVD player.
my old one died in a horrible accident involving an electromagnetic field that wiped out the whole west side of my apartment complex.... which is my house. That fateful day my computer DVD player and portable DVD player all fell victim to the karmatic forces. Back to the story I was at home depot on Friday avoiding looking for a job and trying to figure out how to turn my crappy little house into a wonderful penthouse condo, when a DVD and home theatre system was sitting there on sale for 49 Bucks.... now being that I have Scottish tendencies I snatched that bad boy up like it was a shiny spoon and I was a raccoon.
so now I have it and no instructions but I am delighted!
woe be to he who gave up that gem! YEE HAW!
*btw the spell check says karmatic is not a word what a pity.*
my old one died in a horrible accident involving an electromagnetic field that wiped out the whole west side of my apartment complex.... which is my house. That fateful day my computer DVD player and portable DVD player all fell victim to the karmatic forces. Back to the story I was at home depot on Friday avoiding looking for a job and trying to figure out how to turn my crappy little house into a wonderful penthouse condo, when a DVD and home theatre system was sitting there on sale for 49 Bucks.... now being that I have Scottish tendencies I snatched that bad boy up like it was a shiny spoon and I was a raccoon.
so now I have it and no instructions but I am delighted!
woe be to he who gave up that gem! YEE HAW!
*btw the spell check says karmatic is not a word what a pity.*
Faces
My Mom
my Aunt Dot
she is really much cuter than Bob Hope if there is a god I will not look like bob hope when I am old.
my Aunt Dot
she is really much cuter than Bob Hope if there is a god I will not look like bob hope when I am old.
and ofcourse the reason that both of them are smiling at the same time:
massage chair
Friday, February 9, 2007
Thai Soup
well I have to say, it is rare that I am disappointed in one of my cooking experiments. Today I failed as a soup maker. Now you have to understand I love soup. so much so that a friend of mine bought me 365 days of soup for my birthday. today I made a concoction so vile that I have to throw it away.
Now I went to the king and I (one of my favorite movies I will also note) and had a great soup experience and being a resourceful person decided to try it myself. I got on my trusty Internet and off I googled. I got lots of results and I had the "stuff" I needed. and wow was it BAD.
to make up for it Jen and I went for noodles. and life was good again.
maybe I will try to make Thai soup again when I become a cute little Thai lady.
Now I went to the king and I (one of my favorite movies I will also note) and had a great soup experience and being a resourceful person decided to try it myself. I got on my trusty Internet and off I googled. I got lots of results and I had the "stuff" I needed. and wow was it BAD.
to make up for it Jen and I went for noodles. and life was good again.
maybe I will try to make Thai soup again when I become a cute little Thai lady.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
today was a pretty darn good day.
Really it was. I could bitch and whine but no, it was great. I got to wake up with Jer ( lovely on the best of days) pet his cat ( he is also very fuzzy). A nice man came and unlocked the door to my car where my keys were being held captive. ( I had money to pay my AMA membership) I scurried across the bridge ( there was no traffic problems) found crucial information for the seminar that I was going to ( a free resume writing course), and I had 35 minutes to get to just enough time for a shower ( hot water YAY!) and to scuttle up the street ( that was a little on the chilly side) only to arrive 2 minutes late. (oh well you can't win them all) I wrote a stellar resume, and I am sure that the AUDIT that the fracking ei people are doing on me will go just fine also.
So I believe that should bring everything up to date.
Life is nothing like Orwell thought it would be, is it.
Really it was. I could bitch and whine but no, it was great. I got to wake up with Jer ( lovely on the best of days) pet his cat ( he is also very fuzzy). A nice man came and unlocked the door to my car where my keys were being held captive. ( I had money to pay my AMA membership) I scurried across the bridge ( there was no traffic problems) found crucial information for the seminar that I was going to ( a free resume writing course), and I had 35 minutes to get to just enough time for a shower ( hot water YAY!) and to scuttle up the street ( that was a little on the chilly side) only to arrive 2 minutes late. (oh well you can't win them all) I wrote a stellar resume, and I am sure that the AUDIT that the fracking ei people are doing on me will go just fine also.
So I believe that should bring everything up to date.
Life is nothing like Orwell thought it would be, is it.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Redneck relocation plan revisions
So the redneck relocation program needs some revisions.
My father a member of the original movement in the 70s was transferred from Saskatchewan to Northern BC. this worked well for me as I was the off spring with a successful coupling to a local female.
In the last year or two though the distribution of the redneck has come to an abrupt decline in the central Canadian area, Saskatchewan and Manitoba loosing a majority of its population to Alberta and it rich oil. With promises of wealth so abundant that they even coat their roads in oil the redneck has left its former habitat to bring the concentration to abnormally high level.
To correct balance thrown off by this migration I propose this:
All single people are sent to Moose Jaw and Regina ( you can make lots of jokes out of that) and only when there has been an interview process and a place that they will not throw off the social curb they will be moved to an area in Alberta or BC. There will be qualifications such as Urban sensitivity, fashion awareness and vehicle desensitization..
I theorize that the old people will bring down the population through the Geriatric Gladiators ( see past entry) leaving room for the new additions.
GO REDNECK REDISTRIBUTION!
My father a member of the original movement in the 70s was transferred from Saskatchewan to Northern BC. this worked well for me as I was the off spring with a successful coupling to a local female.
In the last year or two though the distribution of the redneck has come to an abrupt decline in the central Canadian area, Saskatchewan and Manitoba loosing a majority of its population to Alberta and it rich oil. With promises of wealth so abundant that they even coat their roads in oil the redneck has left its former habitat to bring the concentration to abnormally high level.
To correct balance thrown off by this migration I propose this:
All single people are sent to Moose Jaw and Regina ( you can make lots of jokes out of that) and only when there has been an interview process and a place that they will not throw off the social curb they will be moved to an area in Alberta or BC. There will be qualifications such as Urban sensitivity, fashion awareness and vehicle desensitization..
I theorize that the old people will bring down the population through the Geriatric Gladiators ( see past entry) leaving room for the new additions.
GO REDNECK REDISTRIBUTION!
my mom was here
for a few days. We actually had fun. there was home show reno stuff and Ikea, pretty much all the stuff she likes. Her and my aunt just left for home. but not with out requests for paintings. They are so cute. Looks like I will be teaching a class up there when I go up next month. My aunt runs an out reach center for young adults and is always looking for things for them to do. I think that will be great fun!
for a few days. We actually had fun. there was home show reno stuff and Ikea, pretty much all the stuff she likes. Her and my aunt just left for home. but not with out requests for paintings. They are so cute. Looks like I will be teaching a class up there when I go up next month. My aunt runs an out reach center for young adults and is always looking for things for them to do. I think that will be great fun!
Thursday, February 1, 2007
I feel like a trained bear
Hoops!
there are so many hoops to jump through.
and
today
there was a jesus spotting
granted he was smoking out side a pub
but I wasn't scared
and wasn't angry
but I still hate him
there are so many hoops to jump through.
and
today
there was a jesus spotting
granted he was smoking out side a pub
but I wasn't scared
and wasn't angry
but I still hate him
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